Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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