She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
