dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
