I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
