I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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