we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
