I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
