I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She said her name was "party"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
