your thong is hanging out like whoa
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
