dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
