names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
