hell yes lets make some ravioli
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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