omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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