2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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