it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish i was in the wii world.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
