The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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