hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
