just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
