it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
