belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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