Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
