So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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