I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
