That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
bring money and cleavage
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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