Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
