I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
