you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
