apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
