Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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