He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
