Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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