my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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