The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
