Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
