What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
