problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
