exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
