It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
