also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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