so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
