Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
