I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
