I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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