Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
