I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
