We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
