Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
