TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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