Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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