go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the liver wants what the liver wants
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
