i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
