Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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