he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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